Sons, Daughters :
Disclaimer/Statutory Warning/Foreword : With this, thou doth not guarantee thyself heaven, hell or anything in between or thereafter. But thou doth hold the key to a meaningful life. And maybe even the fifteen minutes of fame thou fo'ever hath wisht for. Read this. Learn this. And pass this on via email to at least ten other people, else thou shalt face the wrath of thy own self and the misery of thy own infinite potentiality. Oh, and this text has been drastically abridged and hellishly simplified for your benefit. Also, the word hellishly was coined before the word hell. What? You Protest? Good. Anyway, this scripture does not endorse the concept of 'hell'.
Behold thy God. It is I. And I am thou. We art one. And that is the lone truth. Trust no gospel, trust no sermon. But hold this psalm in thy palm, and thou will glide through life.
Protest, my child, is expression of the sacred human voice, true to itself. It doesn't precede anything, it doesn't follow anything. It just exists; engulfing every other form of expression, if not taking its form, instead. Everything else, in comparison is just a hypertext link to further Protest. The essence of Protest lies in the very basic human instinct of negation, denial and self-centered thought. And of course, in the basic law of mathematical proportions. Through the explanations of these basic truths, you shall gain the requisite knowledge to advance to the more grave chapters of this sacred scripture, that of course, you must revere more than any other object or desire.
Basic Truth Zero :
The foremost basic truth of life, O' dove of peace, is that the world revolves around first, the Sun and then, Protest. There is nothing said, no deed done before a Protest against the same subject. And henceforth, my carrier of wisdom, it becomes your duty to uphold Protest and negate any statement or deed that defies this basic truth. You will exercise Protest if there is something done without Protest. This is because I create, and I destroy. And if there are anomalies, it is the duty of my children to abhor such ghastly mutations.
Basic Truth One :
Child, there is no statement that cannot be contradicted. And your finite life will have infinite such examples. There is no saying, no deed that is entirely true, entirely beneficial or entirely positive. You shall, for the sake of completeness, comply with this basic truth and henceforth uphold Protest and negate all, I must be clear, all statements and deeds, for the above reasons.
Basic Truth Two :
A statement or deed made by any non-believer in appreciation, in support or in aid of any being of a different caste, creed or whichever other divisions you may wish to create, is directly in conflict with your interest. You will, by all means, at all times worry only about your own interest. There exists no other person, under no circumstance, that you should consider the health, wealth or life of. Live, my wonderful creation, and let die. Uphold Protest, hence, O' young learner, and earn your rights in this cruel world, for others think just like you.
Basic Truth Three :
There is nothing that I, as your commander, can allow that can please and appease all of you. This is in compliance with Basic Truth Two. Do not worry. There is no hidden agenda, no celestial vendetta behind this. Yet again, you cannot comprehend the necessity of this fact. For your benefit, it would be best to understand that it just exists. Hence, there is no statement, no deed that must be left without making it the subject of our Protest.
And hence I retire this Chapter with these following words. You have now the Basic Truths, my child, and with that all the knowledge required to while away your measly existence in your mortal body. Follow these, and you will be on the path to correct Protest, founded with the eternal beliefs and the infallible wisdom of Protest. Rise in masses, my children!
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